Challenging our confidence

Life is challenging and  we live in challenging times, how’s your self
confidence holding up? Let’s face it, maintaining

your personal confidence when life is relatively
normal can be challenging enough. But when we
are confronted by unexpected challenges, it can be
very difficult to avoid giving in to self-doubt and
uncertainty.
When we feel confident, it makes us more
resourceful. Challenges seem less threatening and
have much less impact on our sense of security.
Take away our self confidence and we become
unsteady in our ability to make decisions and take
action. Do you have enough confidence in your own
abilities to meet challenges head on without giving
way to doubt and fear?
How much confidence is realistic?
In all areas of life, balance is always the key, the
same is true with confident we feel. With that in
mind, let me ask you a question. Do you think that
it’s possible to have a realistic, balanced view of
one’s own abilities and still have enough self
confidence to see you through unexpected
challenges? Is it okay to think about building
exceptional self confidence in your abilities?
Many people wrestle with the line between reality
and fantasy when it comes to feeling confident. This
works two ways. A person who feels that they have
no real abilities is not being realistic, but neither is a
person who believes that they can fly. While I know
for a fact that most people are capable of amazing
things, I also know that gravity cannot by
overpowered by confidence. That’s just not
realistic.
Self-confidence is personal
Short of flying, I know from personal experience
that we are all capable of doing many things that are
thought to be impossible by most people. The point
is, popular opinion is not an accurate way to
measure the upward limits of human potential or
your own abilities. So please, do not allow the
limiting beliefs of others to influence you.
Remember, self-confidence is an inner feeling of
certainty about what we have to offer, and what we
are capable of accomplishing. It has absolutely
nothing to do with what anybody else thinks. No
matter what our abilities, some will believe in us
and some will not. Your personal confidence is
about what you believe; it is your personal
perception that’s important.
Self confidence is empowering
Self confidence is a form of personal empowerment.
It gives us a sense of certainty in our ability to bring
about a favorable outcome. As a result, we have the
energy to pursue our dreams and the personal
power to overcome obstacles. But it also changes
how others view us.
When you carry yourself with confidence, people
are naturally attracted to that quality. When they
sense your confidence in yourself, others tend to be
confident in you as well. When you speak and act
with conviction, it changes the way the way the
world responds to you. This response creates
opportunities that would not have existed otherwise.
Self confidence is the opposite of doubt
When people doubt their abilities it creates a very
limiting dynamic. Many people are afraid to go for
the life they truly desire. Lacking self-confidence
they fear failure, worse yet, they actually anticipate
it. Their lack of confidence stifles their willingness
to reach out for their dreams.
These feelings of doubt and inability will also
change the way others see them. It is easy to
sense when somebody doubts their self. Even if
their words don’t give them away, we can feel it on
a subconscious level. It’s very hard to put
confidence in someone who doubts their own ability.
This means that they will not be exposed to the
same opportunities as someone who radiates
confidence .
What influences how confident you feel?
Self-confidence is influenced by several factors.
Identifying these factors will allow us to use a
variety of approaches to build exceptional
confidence from every angle. Here are seven things
that exert a strong influence on your sense of self-
confidence:
1) Self-esteem . In a general way, self-confidence
is influenced by self-esteem . Feelings of
worthlessness (low self-esteem) will have a
limiting effect on overall self-confidence. However,
you can still experience high levels of self-
confidence in specific areas in which you excel. On
the other hand, a healthy self esteem makes it
much easier to feel confident about your abilities in
all areas of life.
2) Past results . If we have a record of producing
our intended result in any area, we will be inclined
to feel confident in our ability to duplicate that
success. However, if we have tried and failed
repeatedly, it will be difficult to feel confident in our
ability to succeed. So, confidence tends to grow or
shrink based on the results we produce.
3) External feedback . When the people around you,
especially those you respect, express confidence in
your abilities it really boosts your self-confidence.
The same thing can happen when you see a peer,
or even someone less qualified, accomplish
something you want to do. This can create an
attitude of: “If they can do it, I can do it.” It may not
seem like much of an influence, but this kind of
attitude has given people the confidence to
accomplish things they never would have attempted
otherwise.
4) Body Language. You may be thinking that your
body language only affects the way other people
perceive you, but there is actually more to it. Your
body language, including your posture, gestures,
facial expressions, gait, and attentiveness, all send
powerful signals to your own nervous system.
Every attitude and mood has corresponding body
language, including feelings of confidence. If your
body is sending signals to your nervous system that
correspond to personal confidence, your attitude
will adjust to harmonize with those signals.
5) Speech . Besides body language, what usually
alerts you to the confidence level of another
person? It’s what they say, and how they say it.
There is a huge difference in the speech of those
with exceptional confidence when compared to
those plagued with self-doubt. Like body language,
your speech also sends powerful signals to your
nervous system. Your speech has a direct influence
on your level of self confidence.
6) Self talk . This is the communication that no one
else sees or hears. Self talk is what composes
those silent conversations we have with ourselves.
Little internal phrases like: “All right, way to go” tell
our nervous system that we approve. Other
phrases like: “You idiot, what’s your problem” send
a completely different message. We can use self
talk to build up our self confidence or to tear it
apart.
7) Expectation. Whether or not we feel confident
about our own abilities is directly influenced by the
expectations we put on ourselves. If we expect to
excel at some extremely difficult task the first time
we try it, we could be setting ourselves up for
failure. Do this too often and your confidence will
take a beating. If we have more reasonable
expectations and experience success, our
confidence will grow. This is an area where balance
is vital.
The benefits of self confidence
Learning to develop and display exceptional self-
confidence will change your life on every level.
Personal confidence is like a powerful magnet.
When you have confidence in yourself and your
abilities, you attract new opportunities, resources,
and people into your life. You will find ways to open
whatever doors are needed to create the life you
truly desire.