By Osondu C Benedict
Growing up as a young man I often see my father tease my mom, either you see both of them try to touch each other or you see my dad trying to cover my mom's face just to see her smile. I also have heard and read many books on marriage and relating it to the one I have seen and even watched like that of my parents. You know marriage is a life decision and that I often tell my friends one must be careful to make such a decision. I once listened and read what Rev Sam Adeyemi and Bishop Oyedapo said about their marriage one will wonder why is their marriage so successful bearing in mind they are world figures, for creating the time between Purpose and family? The amazing thing is that they never allowed other things come between their marriage.
Marriage is a union built on understanding, commitment and love. Love doesn't just make all these things work rather commitment, and other important things. I have also come to understand that Marriage is for men and not for boys, at the race of getting married it was discovered that many people just only prepare for the wedding ceremony forgetting to prepare for the lives events.
Gary Chapman a Marriage consultant once said above 80% of every married couples ends in their 7th or 8th years of marriage, meaning that for every ten wedded couples atleast eight will divorce. The reasons begin these variables is that they are not even prepared to get married while for some they just felt like being married.
When my parents celebrated 35years wedding ceremony i asked my mom! Mom what has kept you going in your Marriage with Dad? She said understanding and commitment and that commitment is greater than feelings and it is the great weapon that destroys those unhelpful difficult amongst them.
Its normal you can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship like most successful marriages we see today really takes absolutely more than what attracted them before getting married and to them it takes more than love.
We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet, I think that's the challenge most of the young marriages we see and hear of divorce especially in our country, you find out those young marriages you hope on to be a role model for your own is really giving you a heart break. I think the Nigeria Actors and Actresses should take note. We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 2, 4 - 6 months of the relationship in many cases. After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped.
Mind you marriage is not for convenient, Relationships cannot be readymade ready it can be nurtured. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment, sacrifice and God.
Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love is priority? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that. Remember when you both took the vow it was a vow of one person and that has to do I will be committed to her just try to discipline yourself and bridle your emotions in other to avoid issues while living together.
It's always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed.
The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together that's why you must make a choice when you are so sure. Be emotionally strong, be self disciplined and above all, have the God factor that will give you the grace needed to reign you in.
Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream. Lastly read books, listen to successful and failed marriages talks, follow God and be decisive. God bless your new home.
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Author: Osondu C Benedict
www.bencoaches.blogspot.com
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